Posted by
Retired Genius on Saturday, June 02, 2007 6:48:43 PM
The official press coverage went like this:
A boat crossing a
river in Afghanistan's most dangerous province sank on Saturday, and at
least 60 people were killed, including Taliban militants, the Defense
Ministry said. The
boat sank while crossing the Helmand River, which snakes through
Helmand province, the world's leading opium poppy region and site of
fierce battles the last several months. Hundreds of Taliban insurgents
are believed to be in Helmand. The Afghan army was investigating to see
how many Taliban insurgents were on board, the
ministry said.
The unofficial international observations went more like this:
A Taliban spokesman insists that its naval forces are up to task
despite the set-back of losing 1 ship and 60 of its crew! Apparently
their commander-in-chief, Osama Bin Laden, does not believe in wasting
time and money on swimming training since they only trained to be
cannon fodder. International compassion groups are requesting donations
of more suicide boats without holes. Sean Penn is rumored to be rushing
to the scene to personally demonstrate what happens when brainless
idiots get in over their heads.The ACLU is already preparing a
lawsuit against the boat manufacturer for selling the boat to people
who have no clue as to what they are doing. Since original reports
indicated that the boat was filled with trial lawyers, a number of huge
rallies in every major American city had to be quickly dispersed and
thousands of donated boats had to be returned to their original owners.
It is rumored that an all new Taliban navy boats will have glass
bottoms so they see what they are hitting. You can see a photograph of
the remaining ships in the Taliban navy at Capitol Hill Comedy.com.